So I’ve been going on dates with this girl and she’s SO cute and funny and awesome and plays music. But it feels like I’m so awkward whenever I interact with her. Lol I wish I wasn’t so socially awkward. It drives me crazy. But we’ve only been on one date and kissed twice and she came to see the plays last night which was really nice.

But I also want him to end things with me explicitly. But also I really don’t want him to. Which is dumb. It’s also dumb cause I’m leaving the city for a long time soon. Having feelings and dating is the worst. I am literally floored that people are ever able to get into actual long-term relationships. Like, how?

I know I am more into him than he is into me. And maybe he saw it as a casual thing that didn’t mean much, and I had a different perception. That really hurts. Maybe he’s just the way he was with me to everyone? Which also really hurts cause he made me feel really special.