Also, today I went out to dinner with Irena and Adg and we talked about how hard it is to date men because we hate most of them. And like, I could literally feel myself morphing into a lesbian all over again.
Two of my friends (Maddie and Pat) went on a cross-country road trip. They’ve been taking breath-taking photos, hiking canyons, and doing all sorts of amazing things.
And I got a wonderful postcard in the mail today from Maddie. And in it she said that the mix CD I made for her before she left is the only one her and Pat both like. And if you knew them, you’d know why that is such a huge compliment. I’m so so so glad they love it, especially because I feel like their music taste is wayyy cooler than mine. Also, they’re both way cooler than I am. But I love them a lot and that postcard made my day.
I went back today and he wasn’t there!!! :( I wanna go back tomorrow, but I don’t have anymore money for coffee, and I feel like I need to make an order along with asking him if he got my note? idk idk idk.
I’ve also been really self-conscious recently so that’s another thing that’s keeping me diving into this head-first.
He sent me a long heart-breaking message in response to mine and I just said:
I understand that. Anyone would feel the same way. And all your emotions and thoughts surrounding this are just as valid as hers. Thank you for being honest with me. You take care too, ****. I hope you can find happiness and closure.
Today was so exhausting. Relationships make me tired, my mental health makes me tired, everyday responsibilities make me tired. I wish life weren’t so draining.
A friend of mine messaged me and asked me why I deleted him off facebook. And like, now I have to message him back and tell him that we can’t be friends anymore because his ex is my ultimate best friend and I’m not comfortable staying in contact with him. AND I HATE CONFRONTATION AND SHIT LIKE THIS. KILL MEEEE.
There’s a scary fucking storm outside rn. Like, it sounds like the end of days. And I’m home alone :(